I don't know whwre to start. I am literally acting like a gorwn old man holding his face while staring at the fucking screen while writitng this. I guess today I feel productive (which i am) but i dot know how to tackle whats on my mind. hows about i do this

recently (like yesterday) i was going crazy online (social media) and visited my two favorite neocities websites, onion room and Dokodemo and i checked them out per usual like whats new, those special fun links etc lol and i discovered Bitview. WEll um no lol ive been knowing about bitview ive actually cosnidered joining it and well i think i discovered myspace homage sites on a resource carrd i was using when making my caard. These two things sparked something in me to have fun again or at least just join them. i checked them out and they looked fun. So later that night i made my account and joined those old we communtiies.

I spent my time getting used the platform, decorating my profile and uploading stuff on there (fuck you my gmod youtube videos vbut thank u me n my smart brain learning how to COMPRESS THE SHITE OUT OF THEM so that bitview can handle it o love u) and ohh my god im addcited. im so addicte i love them I know this is only temporary and that ill abadon these accounts (not my bitview bec it deals with a proect im working on for fun) BUt!!!!! i love them rn. Its hard to think rn while writng this bec i feel cold and hyoed up like i got injected with crazy juice. pls im listening to loud remixes by pinkmmouse SXDFRGTHNGFVCDEFRGTH

So anyways im addcited. literally today i spent maybe over 2 hours on spacehey bec its so fun and cool. i wish more ppl interacted with me but i also dont bec i know deep down im not a perma user bec I KNOW MYSELF BUT this was the ost fun ive had on the net since i made my neocities account in 2019. This amd eme realize how much i miss the old net which is funny bec when the old net was around i was too freaking young to use social media nor in general a computer (but i was mart enough to draw on it apparently lol THIS IS WHY IM AUTISTSIC IVE HEARD SUMILAIR STORIES OF AUTISTIC KIDS HAVING THEIR PARENTS DISCOVER THEYRE AUTSITIC BEC THEYRE SMART ENOIGH TO USE A COMPUTER UNLIKE OTHER LITTLE KIDS BUT THATS NOT THE FOCUS) the main thing is i miss it. Spacehey is fun. Bitview is fun. It gives u the same fun super fun fun feeling while also feeling limited. jumping back on twitter and instagram made me realize the HUUUUUUUUGE difference between these feelings

On ig and twitter its more open. more modern. its also full of fucking ads and viral stuff and shit. While on bitview and spacehey that doesnt rly matter? i mean yeah ofc bitview has "WHOA MY VID IS FEATURED!!!!" but thats what happens on vid webites like that. its a youtube clone. but i dont know how to properly explain what i mean wtf. i know what i mena in my body and soul but i cnat get it out. do you understand what i mean? do you?? These scene kids on spacehey are right.

I wanna have fun and be cringe again. I wanna have fun lie this though ill miss my friends. NO THIS IS NOT AN ANTHEM THAT IM LEAVING. i just. the internet now makes me feel terminally online i am terminally online but like i feel like it in a bad way. All the time instagram and twitter gievs me a fucking TOXIC SLUDGE feeling. Ppl are assholes and mean on there. Theres so much hate n drama rdrftyujhgfdeswe54r6t7y8uihytfrdesrtyuhi its so funny that i say that. I feel even more TOXIC SLUDGE on twitter which is why i barely use i.

On a "reclaim the internet" group im in on spacehey, omeone asked if the net now feels more difficult to make friends on than in the past. Lots of ppl agreed (idk i didnt read it i have a liyerl beehive in my head rn) but at firt i was confused. but when i went on ig to spill my deelings about ow spacehey and bitview made me feel, now that im writing this, i understand now. and theyre right. I mewan, i feel like thsi on twitter. The only way to get attention the quickest is to be probelmatic as fuck or join popular communties. Make sexy art ppl will love and give you 12343234 clicks. Make takes everyone will agree with or rinse an repeat old ones we havent heard from ina while. Do shit like tiktok does with their weird trends and dances and annoying songs you hear on the radio enough already. Im tired.

AND THE FEREAKING ADS THRESS ADS EVERYWHERE I REMEBER WHEN SOMEONE MENTIONED THAT THESE CRYPTO JUNK IS GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE AND IT IS. ESP WHEN ITS ON YOUTUBE NOW TOO

I remeber seeing people on either bitview or spacehey say youtube right now sucks now. It does, to me its been kid of hard to enjoy it. part of me wondered if its the ppl im subscribed to. Streaming stuff has been difficult too to enjoy. Everything is so boring now. It's getting so boring im gonna die. This is the much fun ive had online when i made my neocities site, when i started making gmod videos etc. The net has taken a turn for the worst ngl and i feel stuid saying that but it kind of has? Everything is boring.

Like i said on my ig page " Idea: sometimes u need to downgrade on social media...sometimes u just gotta revert back to myspace homage sites or old youtube copies and feel that fun yet limited space again ad just. makes u feel good."

I still agree with that and i just said that today like 5 hours ago. I wish i could translate my feelings into words better.

anyways bye im hungry and i wrote enough my tv dinner is ready